"As winter strips the leaves from around us, so that we may see the distant regions they formerly concealed, so old age takes away our enjoyments only to enlarge the prospect of the coming eternity." --Jean Paul Richter
One thing I wish I had more time to do is...write. Yes, I see the irony as I sit at my office desk at school and write. But in college, I could spend hours in my journal, scribbling pages and pages away...Now, my days are full. A good sort of full, but I miss my times of introspection. I often feel brittle and dull when I have not spent good time creating.
And typing, to me at least, does not have the same rhythm to it as writing in a journal. Seems disjointed and unconnected to me. It's faster, yes, but I like the process of handwriting to typing. Makes it all seem more official. Obviously, it's hard to explain.
I see the world differently when I write often. I observe, my senses are sharp. There is some sort of internal sigh of relief (renewal?) when I am writing. A sort-of "this is what I've been missing!" reaction.
Some of my classes have to write a poem tonight. I forgot the looming intimidation of poetry writing. Though I gave them a category, a handful of themes, it's a daunting task. I tell them, well--so is teaching. I have to work hard to stay on top of things--to entertain, to spell all of my chalkboard writings correctly, to truly see each student...this work is as difficult as poetry.
I need to remember to write. To make time for art and observation. Longfellow would be proud.

"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!" --Henry David Thoreau
What is one thing that you can do to simplify your life?
My students today came up with some bizarre answers to this journal topic. Shave your head? Wear togas? Get rid of...food?
My life would be more simple if I worried less, gave up my moments of analyzing. I vacillate between my desire to accept that extreme thought is just a part of who I am, and a strong desire to use this as a growing curve. There are moments where worry and over-analyzation take up so much of my time. I tell myself that it's unproductive, then I realize that I am worrying about my worrying!
It's truly a matter of faith, isn't it? Learning to trust the Lord's leanings, to truly give yourself over to the Otherness of this faith-life is difficult. It's easier to remain fractured and comfortable...and in control. But a simple way of life is paring down to the minimum, giving over worry and spend that time in thankfulness and therefore enjoying life.
Plus, I do not think the bald look is for me.

"Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character." --James Russell Lowell
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Well, from personality tests, I've been informed that I am an extrovert borderlining on introverted-ness. What does that mean? I'm outgoing, yes. I love meeting new people, seeing new things, conversations, laughing...
But I crave time alone. To read a book and drink good coffee, to listen to music. It's nice to spend an afternoon in solitude and quiet, just absorbing my thoughts. Of course, after several hours of quiet, I need new stimulation. I get my energy from being around people.
As I get older, I've become accustomed to being alone more. When I studied in London, it truly took me awhile to get used to riding the Tube alone, or grocery shopping without company. In a city of millions, I taught myself the art of solitude.
My mom loves "her time," that is to say, her quiet hour after work to sit quiet and alone. I used to drive her crazy wanting to talk as soon as she walked in the door! Now I too enjoy silence, like to listen. It's been difficult to learn, but now I treasure it.

"The thing worse than rebellion is the thing that causes rebellion." --Frederick Douglass
Are you rebellious? Why or why not?
I'd like to think I'm rebellious in small ways. As the youngest child in my family, I have always enjoyed the spotlight, and there's nothing like rebellion to get someone's attention. I wasn't the traditional rebel, breaking rules and shunning the right for the wrong. I think I wanted to be, but was too scared of the consequences. That sort of fear does not get you into the "in crowd" in public high school. I tried wearing clothes that reflected my individuality, I enjoyed finding music that was not played on the radio...as a teenager, I wanted anything but the mainstream. I was voted "Most Original" in our yearbook, but when I look back on it now, I just looked like all the other teenagers who didn't want to be mainstream. "Alternative" was not an alternative.
But today, I think I am a rebel because I want to be authentically who I am. To continue to change and grown and as my life unfurls, look back over the tapestry of my days and see what has been created. I believe we live in a world where our society tries (and usually succeeds in) telling us all who we are, what we should look like, what we are supposed to think. To live blindly and numbly. It is sad how unconscious we are to the wonder all around us.
So if rebelling is waking up to the good stuff, then I'm in.

"If you haven't turned rebel by twenty you've got no heart; if you haven't turned establishment by thirty you've got no brains!" --Kevin Spacey