"Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing." --Benjamin Franklin
List five things you could do to improve your day today. Write about one of them.
1. smile
2. really listen to people when they are talking to me instead of trying to do other things at the same time
3. go outside
4. laugh
5. drink some water

Some of those don't make a lot of sense. But I'm thirsty right now, so that's what came to mind. I'm ready for some April showers. Spring rain smells best. Green and loamy and petals are in the puddles.
It's easy as a teacher to become a stickler. There are lots of rules (ahem, "procedures") that you must enforce to gain freedom in a classroom. The whole "we know what happens next" sort of thing. And I see the importance of it. That order in a classroom is necessary. That everyone must know what to do, what to expect in order to feel comfortable discussing and learning. It's part of the culture of a classroom.
I don't like it.
There are days when I feel like I am The Enforcer, and I want to back away and explain, "hello? Just because you call me 'Miss Brown' instead of 'Beth' doesn't mean I don't feel the things you feel or go out to eat or listen to my music too loud or laugh at inappropriate things or procrastinate or...." I could go on. It's just difficult to keep things in line (which then creates room for the good stuff) while trying to remain a human.
But what always helps, what connects me to my students, what clears the air is something I've already written about. Laughing. Or a simple smile. So much is communicated in such simplicity. I find refuge and relief in that.
Today in second and third hour, Calvin from the South Carolina School for the Deaf and Blind came to speak to us about his life as a deaf person. He was engaging, full of energy, and most of all, he was really funny! I learned so much about deaf culture, and it really opened up The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (the novel we finished a couple weeks ago--the main character is deaf). It truly was one of those classroom moments I want more of: we were all in it together, experiencing and growing.
Now, on to the rest of my list. It's lovely and sunny and finally Spring today.
I'm going outside.

"I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it." --Ernest Hemingway
When is the last time you had a moment to re-charge? Write about it.
...as if I'm a robot. Anyway, it was my journal topic. I don't know if I'm supposed to make fun of it.
On Sunday, I finally put curtains up in my bedroom. And as I stepped back to admire my handiwork (used power tools and everything), I thought, this is the first time I have been quiet in a long time.
I enjoy most of all being silent--comfortably so--with someone else. When you've reached the point where you can just sit back and enjoy. And I think in a way, there comes a time where you have to do the same thing with your inside self. To enjoy the silence. To enjoy being with yourself, who you are, the Beauty and Oneness within. It's hard to do and feels so strange and awkward...but once you are used to being alone and quiet it is wonderful.
Then you begin to feel a loss when there is so much that is loud around you and seek out spaces for Sabbath. To shut out the noise and static.
That's what I was doing Sunday afternoon. I didn't try for it, it just Happened. And I'm thankful.
The curtains are lovely crewel-work transluscent white. I see them each morning and they make me happy. They help me remember.

"There are three rules for writing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are." --W. Somerset Maugham
Think back over your weekend. Write about a conversation you had using only quotations.
"I'm so sorry."
"What?"
"Do you have your insurance card?"
"Uh, yes."
"Do you want me to call the police?"
"What?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. Though I am upset, miss."
"But you are not hurt?"
"No."
"Can I have your name and address? Could you write it down?"
"Here, miss."
"What is your vehicle ID number?"
"Why you need this? Where are police?"
"I called them. Here they are."

So I got in a tiny tiny wreck this weekend. In the parking lot of my apartment. I backed into a neighbor's Altima...bad thing is, he can't speak English.
What a mess. But my car is fine. And his will be...soon.

"I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?" --Ernest Hemingway
Do you use sleep as an escape? Explain.
I wish I did! I find I have less and less time to sleep. Or, enjoy extra times of sleep. I love a good nap, and miss my college days when you could take a nap between your 8:00 class and your 10:00. Those were the days.
My students often ask for "power naps" in class, just 5 minutes to lay their heads on their desks and snooze. Would we be a better place with a siesta? With time set aside to sleep a bit during the day? I'd like to find out.
It's especially difficult when you wake early in the morning and think "well, I'll be able to come home and sleep again soon." What a way to greet a new day! Maybe it's more about finding the discovery and the adventure in the day-to-day living we try to sleep away. I think even Hemingway could agree with that, the pessimist.

"Words are all we have." --Samuel Beckett
Do you think you are "good with words?" Why or why not?
Ummm....(that should give my answer away).
I love words, I'm just not always the best word-tender. I rake them into sarcastic, dry rows, I muddle them with anger and insecurity. Words are powerful things--another of those simple, dear gifts our Creator grants us that we somehow twist and ruin.
But that's on a bad day.
As a writer (I'm cautious to use that word, it is more like "as someone who would like to grow up one day and be a writer"), I enjoy the weight and heft of words, I carry word combinations around with me (like "the delicious scent of rain" in "The Story of an Hour") and run over them again and again like pearls on a string. I even like a random heap of words and pulling out pairs of them...just to hear how they sound together.
My favorite word is "kaleidoscope."
But the question is...am I good with words? And yes, when I slow down my thoughts and my days enough to weigh each one, I am good with words. It's the gift given to me, and I wish I did more with it. I wish I didn't just wish for that--and actually did something about it.
But, really, what this question really brings to my mind is the simple truth that we either overuse or neglect words. Sometimes, things need to be written down, said aloud, told, given away...
And other times, we say too much. We want to take the long strand of negativity, of lies, of gossip, of opinion...and roll it back inside. Rewind. Take back.
I want to be "good" with words in this way: I want to use each carefully and creatively. In all times and situations.
I am challenged by that.